How to Find the Right Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide

Deciding to start therapy is a powerful step toward better mental health—but finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. With numerous credentials, therapeutic approaches, and personality factors to consider, many people don't know where to begin.

This guide will walk you through a practical, step-by-step process to find a therapist who's right for you, making this important decision less stressful and more likely to result in a beneficial therapeutic relationship.

Step 1: Identify What You're Looking For

Before beginning your search, take some time to clarify:

Your priorities and concerns:

• What specific issues do you want to address? (Anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, grief, etc.)
• Do you prefer in-person or virtual sessions?
• Are you looking for short-term, solution-focused therapy or longer-term exploration?
• Do you have preferences regarding your therapist's gender, age, cultural background, or specialties?

Knowing what you're looking for will help you narrow your search and identify the right fit more quickly.

Step 2: Find Potential Therapists

There are several routes to finding qualified therapists:

Online therapist directories:

• Psychology Today's Therapist Finder
• Grow Therapy
• Alma
• Thriveworks
• Brightside Health
• BetterHelp 
• Cerebral 

Other reliable sources:

• Referrals from trusted friends, family members, or healthcare providers
• Your health insurance provider's directory of in-network mental health professionals
• Local community mental health centers
• University or college counseling centers (if you're a student)

Create a list of 3-5 potential therapists who seem like they might be a good match based on their specialties and background.

Step 3: Understand Different Credentials and Approaches

Therapists come with various credentials and training backgrounds:

Common credentials:

• Psychiatrists (MD): Medical doctors who can prescribe medication and may provide therapy
• Psychologists (PhD/PsyD): Hold doctoral degrees in psychology and provide assessment and therapy
• Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW): Masters-level clinicians trained in therapy and social support systems
• Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC): Masters-level therapists who provide mental health counseling
• Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT): Specialists in relationship and family dynamics

Therapeutic approaches: Different approaches work better for different concerns. These are just some of the types:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focuses on changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors
• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Often used for couples and relationship issues
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Particularly effective for trauma
• Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores unconscious patterns and past experiences
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Focuses on mindfulness and values-based living

Research the approaches that might work best for your specific concerns.

Step 4: Interview Potential Therapists

Many therapists offer brief consultation calls, which are invaluable for assessing fit. Prepare questions such as:

• Practical considerations:
  • "Do you accept my insurance?" or "What are your fees?"
  • "How long are your sessions?"
  • "Do you have availability for regular appointments?"
  • "Do you offer therapy in-person or online?"
• Approach and experience:
• • "What is your philosophical approach to therapy?"
  • "How much experience do you have treating concerns like mine?"
  • "Are you more directive or do you primarily let clients lead sessions?"
  • "How do you measure progress in therapy?"
  • "Are you religious? How does this affect your approach to therapy?" (if relevant to you)

Take notes after each conversation to help you compare therapists later.

Step 5: Assess the Fit After Initial Sessions

The real test of compatibility comes from actual therapy sessions. After 2-3 sessions, ask yourself:

• Do I feel respected and heard?
• Is this person challenging me appropriately?
• Do I feel comfortable being honest with this therapist?
• Does their communication style work for me?
• Can I imagine working with this person for a while?

It's important to distinguish between:

• Discomfort that comes from addressing difficult issues (productive)
• Discomfort that stems from a poor therapist-client match (unproductive)

If you're unsure, ask yourself: "Do I want to quit because they're making me face my problems, or because this isn't actually a good fit?"

Step 6: Trust Your Instincts

Your gut feeling matters. If something feels off after a few sessions, it's completely acceptable to:

1. Discuss your concerns with the therapist (they should be open to this conversation)
2. Request a referral to another professional if needed
3. Try someone new if the first therapist isn't working out

Remember that even excellent therapists aren't the right match for every client. Finding the right fit may take more than one attempt.

Common Questions About Starting Therapy

Q: How long should I give a new therapist before deciding if it's working? A: While you might get a general sense after the first session, giving it 2-3 sessions provides a more accurate picture of the therapeutic relationship.

Q: Is it normal to feel worse before feeling better in therapy? A: Yes, therapy sometimes involves confronting difficult emotions, which can temporarily increase distress before improvement occurs.

Q: What if I can't afford therapy? A: Look into sliding-scale fees, community mental health centers, university training clinics, or online therapy options, which may be more affordable.

Q: How do I know if therapy is working? A: Positive signs include: gaining new insights, developing better coping skills, noticing small positive changes in your thinking or behavior, and feeling supported even when discussing difficult topics.

Beginning Your Therapy Journey

Finding the right therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes—what fits someone else perfectly might not work for you. Be patient with the process and remember that searching for the right therapist is an act of self-care.

The time and effort you invest in finding the right therapeutic partnership will pay dividends in your mental health journey. You're worthy of the investment required to become your best self.

Have you had experience finding a therapist? What helped you determine if they were the right fit? Share your insights in the comments below.

For additional support on your mental health journey, explore our Calm & Collected card set, designed to provide daily guidance for reducing anxiety and managing stress over a 66-day journey.